Anything but Laos-y Pt 2

*playing catch up. I don't know what else I'm ever going to get to do with the pictures and video I have from this summer. This one I wrote while I was still in country.

Just before we reached Luang Prabang on the third day of travel we stopped at a cave in the middle of stark black cliffs coming out of the Mekong. It had over two thousand Buddhas in a just a few little caverns. It was interesting, but I think we were all ready to get there.

And get there we did. Laos is a jewel that I didn't know existed. I had a similar experience going to the Heshimite Kingdom of Jordan (not being snooty just distinguishing it from Jordan, Utah). I knew nothing of it so everything that was good was great because I had no expectations and everything was new and exciting. Luang Prabang was a resort town when Laos was a french colony so the whole thing had a European feel to it, while remaining charmingly Asian.

This guy was so cool, he smoked the daily paper. He was standing there holding a flag of the hammer and sickle in the threshold of a travel agency. Laos is a communist country, but you'd never know it. 'Cept for this paper-smoking guy and his flag.

Our hotel was really fine and the best shower I've had my entire time here. Looking right out on the Mekong. Our schedule in Laos was so laid back and the food was good and the culture was fun and fascinating—it was a perfect way to wind down my southeast Asia experience. We spent our days seeing fantastic waterfalls and views and our nights eating great food and reminiscing on what's passed for us. You never think that when you've already been with the same group of people for 3 months that you would suddenly make new friends, but I feel like I did that in Laos and I needed that so I'm glad.

One Night in Bangkok

For Heidi.

The story of MY one night in Bangkok.

Is that a Fat Joke?

I left for this summer hoping it would be a chance to lose weight and it turned into a growing experience, if you know what I mean. My running shows blew out about the same time that my host mother concluded that fried chicken and doughnuts were all I wanted to eat and so you can imagine the result.

My lovely Thai mother is trying so hard to find foods that I'll like, she'll give me a fish head and a doughnut and if I choose the doughnut, she concludes I must have a crazy sweet tooth. To confirm she offers me pig skin and an ice cream and when I choose the ice cream she assumes sugar must be all I ever want. Though her food is delicious, at this point I'm feeling a little like this bear and very ready to choose my own foods and PORPOTIONS.

Anything but Laos-y Pt 1

This past week was our “last hoorah” trip to Laos before everyone in the group goes their separate ways and get blown to the ends of the earth (for most of us, Provo is that place...). We drove for a day up to the northern border of Thailand and then stayed in this swanky guesthouse that looked like something out of a jungle/movie before waking up the next morning and crossing the river into Laos.

All told, it took us three days to get to our final destination of Luang Prabang, Laos, but what a three days they were! We rented out a slow boat for our group, so 2 of the 3 days were just floating down the Mekong (dodging the Nagas) and feeling like spoiled rich Colonial tourists of the 19^th century.

We all took for granted how breathtaking the sights were. Two days of boating (and playing cards and reading Life of Pi while adrift myself, and making creamer and sugars drinks) brought us more shades of green in the flora and fauna on the shore than I even knew existed. We stopped for the first night in a place whose name I never caught, but it was a village that consisted of one main drag and one hotel and one muskrat whose mouth (yes, mouth. Not teeth) had been removed and was still bloodied from it. We named him Job, cause that's a lot of suffering.

Contrary to popular belief, that's actually not a painting. That's the real Laos. It's beautiful. It was such a surprise to me because I went there sight unseen, with no prior knowledge of the place or what it offered. The Laotian people look a lot different than the Thais too, as different as Cambodians from Thais.

Also, because Laos was once a french colony, they have bread. We took much advantage. Many baguettes (I'm not going to mention that they were filled with peanut butter and banana and nutella) were had by all.

(NOTE: THE TAIWAN AIRPORT WONT LET ME UPLOAD VIDEO, BUT IT WILL COME LATER)

Don't Ostracize Me.

Let me explain. The following, was a result of many elements that all added up to create the perfect storm for me. The elements: 1)the proven fact that I'd been repeated to everyone with ears all day---ostriches can kill lions. 2) walking on to this ostrich farm and seeing the bums of the out-of-commission ostriches worm bare of feathers (no doubt from all of the fat tourists sliding around on their backs), 3) watching the little Thai men wrangle the ostriches with their more than sketchy methodology (lets not talk about the blood), AND last but not least--4) the fact that I never fall down. Even in my stumbling I have cat like reflexes and even when I first learned to ice skate, I never remember slipping. That being the case, I'm not really practiced at catching myself. With those grains of salt, watch the following (I recommend it without sound) :

Humiliations galore.

I grabbed the birds wings, but held loosely because I didn't want to crush its feathers and didn't lock my legs around the front of him because the other one was heaving and I didn't want to constrict this one's breathing so I essentially didn't even try to hold on. (Did you see what I did there? Now I'm the town martyr rather than the court jester. check.) Also, the funniest part of the whole video is the ostrich's face as it runs away. Feel free to go back for round two.

It's days later and I'm still in pain from that fall, but, in order that I can still use that old adage about getting back up the ostrich when you've fallen off (or whatever that saying is), I did re-mount.

A new item on my bucket list is to ride every ridable animal there is (yes.) Ostriches: check! Also, note to self: the chinstrap look? not flattering.

Ricardo, a friend.

So there are suddenly cockroaches in my life. Actually I think it's just one. The roach I see always looks the same and I've seen more than one at a time so, for intensive purposes---it's just one. I named him Ricardo. La cucaracha folks, la cucaracha.

Word of advice, never google "do cockroaches bite?" When I was thinking about what I found there a business card dropped on my arm and I almost had a heart attack. My dad would be so proud of that business card for picking such a good moment to scare me. It's all about the set-up.

Below is a picture of a spider we found in the hills. The leaves aren't good to look at for scale because they're unconventionally enormous as well. It was all neon colors and it looked like a toy spider. I think it would fill up your palm if you had it in your hand.

you are cool.

I just got an email, subject line: you are cool. I opened it (because who wouldn't) and attached was a link to this picture. I post it because 1) it is throwback Thursday and 2) it is a visual representation of the people in whose presence I want to spiritually spend my time.

that is all.

Trekking with the Hill Tribes

Happy Fourth of July! One of these summers, I’ll be back in America to celebrate it, it’s one of my top three favorite holidays. This Fourth was probably my most uniquely spent (though there were no parades or hot air balloons involved. We spent Saturday and Sunday trekking with the hill tribes. I was under the impression that it was a pretty mellow hike so I wore flip-flops and it turned out to be 10 miles of practically straight uphill---no switchbacks. It was madness, but really refreshing. It was the kind of thing where you just feel really good afterward.

We started with elephant riding and one of the elephants that trekked with us had recently given birth so the baby came along too. Everyone’s first reaction is “it’s SOO small!” but be honest folks, that baby elephant is bigger than the biggest dog you have ever seen.

I just seriously could not get over how cute this baby was. The video is total crumb, but the baby! I had a moment with a guy from Yorkshire because he was saying he wanted to---take the baby home with you! I know! (I finished his sentence, we had a moment). We went on from there to hike around through the hills. Our guide’s name was ‘Rambo’ because he helped the crew of the newest Rambo movie schlep camera equipment around when they were filming in that very jungle! He was short but solid.

What I’m saying is I’m practically best friends with Sylvester Stallone by association at this point. Yea, we’re besties---about time. The hike was long and hard and I generally ended up the back of the fast group or the front of the slow group (oh how I hate mediocrity), but suddenly in the early evening we rounded a corner and came upon these beautiful rice patties. They were just like you think southeast asia is going to be and I couldn’t get over them. (literally hiking over them was wet and muddy and nearly took me out).

We camped just beyond there at a waterfall where we spent the evening singing (someone brought a guitar) around the fire. There is nothing better than that. I swear all I need for my life is a camp fire, a guitar, and people to love it with me.

This was definitely one of the best weekends we’ve spent here. The guides made us each little leaf hats that turned out to be like wearing a green house on your head and made us all pour with sweat and we finished off the fourth with bamboo rafting (where 4 of our number got charged by that mama elephant when the baby scrambled onto their raft for some air) and eventually ice cream at Swenson’s where we caught a glimpse of the fireworks from the only 4^th of July part in the city. Life doesn’t get better than that.

O Brother, Where Art Thou?

By way of further introduction to my life here, this is the face that I see every morning when I leave for my morning run. I can never remember his Thai name, so I call him ‘Brother’----mostly so I can say “hey brother”---props to you if you get the reference. He’s the one that understands me here in this house of otherwise little communication. Also, even though he isn’t the cleanest dog of my acquaintance, he is a much needed source of affection.

The other dog here, I named Nicodemus He used to be extremely skittish (all dogs here are), but today he almost followed me into the house and when I turned to scratch his ears he didn’t even pull away. There are TONS of dogs in Thailand and they bark like savage guard dogs, and yet---you have but to look them in the eyes and they run away. Lots of the dogs follow me on my run in the morning, but they eventually turn around and go home. Thais really like puppies (you always find them for sale in the markets), but they don’t much like the adults so a lot of them will raise them and then just let them go.

Note: this post dedicated to Michaela Maurine Proctor; dog lover extraordinaire.

Angkor Wat

When the red shirts broke out in violent and destructive protests, we had to pack our bags and prepare to leave if it became necessary, my number one regret about leaving Thailand was that I’d miss the chance to go to Angkor Wat. I read about it in the National Geographic when I was 8 and I’ve wanted to visit ever since. It’s the largest religious complex in the world and dates back to 1300 (which is actually really young when you’re used to the dates of the Middle East and the wonders of the ancient world). We arrived as the sun was setting and it was truly a beautiful sight. The sun was setting over Angkor Wat as lightning was striking behind the clouds and then a rainbow appeared in the far sky out of nowhere and this white horse was grazing just out in front of the temple like it belonged there. It looked like one of those ridiculous paintings in folk art stores that you don’t buy because it’s too busy to be real. That or a Lisa Frank folder.

We spent two days touring the various temples in the Angkor complex. Angkor Wat is the main one, and the image that kind of represents the whole complex, but it’s so big you actually have to take a bus or a tuk tuk (little motorcycle taxi) to be able to see all (or even a little) of what it has to offer. A guy in our group stayed home from seeing Angkor Wat to watch S. Korea play Greece in the world cup. *RIDICULOUS* He missed out. Also, I’m pretty sure S. Korea lost that game anyway.

Cambodian dancers just hanging out on the temple ruins. One of the Wats on the Angkor complex is covered in strangler figs (location where they filmed Lara Croft: Tomb Raider) These things were massive and looking at them, I felt a General Conference talk metaphor coming on. All told Cambodia boasts much more interesting foliage than we’ve seen so far in Thailand. In fact, looking at some of it I thought “Oh Kampuchea (their word for their own country), almost thou persuadest me to be a horticulturalist.”

Also, we were given much more time than the heat would permit us to stay interested at each location, so I was sitting at the base of one of the bigger stranglers just thinking and this European man walked by and said “Ah! You must be Vishnu.” That’s a new one. I’ve been called many things, but never the supreme form of Hindu deity before. This complex used to be Hindu, but then they made it Buddhist. Part of the reason Cambodian/Thai relations are so bad is because the Thais sacked the Angkor civilization in 1431. Get over it.--too soon?

Ode To My Fish Friends

Though I am MUCH further from the sea here than I am in my native residence of Northern Virginia, I eat a lot more seafood here (still unsure whether that should worry me). I come down the stairs to the kitchen and if the protein of the day is fish than I am stare down my meal face to face because we eat these little guys and they stare up at us saying "I LOOKED EXACTLY LIKE THIS IN LIFE!" At first it frightened me, but then they slowly began to become my friends because who's to say they don't speak English when I need someone to talk to? This morning's deep fried demon, however, would NOT have been my friend. Just saying.

My Life as a Teacher of Engrish

It's absolutely true what they say about asians using a peace sign as their go-to picture pose. NOT A STEREOTYPE.

This is my fourth grade class. They are one the smaller classes and easier to handle. One of the students looks like the cartoon beaver from lady and the tramp. I mean that in the most endearing way. They usually stand up and say "Good Morning Teacher" and then I say "Good Morning class, how are you?" and they say "I'm fine, thank you and you?" But having the camera on them got them confused and they didn't know what I was saying so they just skipped to the end.

They thought I was taking a picture when I was taking a video a la Sami Grozbean. They are my fifth grade class---the class that demands the most energy from me at the time slot where I have the least to give. Ain't that always the way? I need almost twice as much material/songs/games to do with them because they don't stay on any one thing for more than a very few minutes.

6th grade. Fastest learners and also the ones with the most attitude. The kid offering me a flower in this video has been standing outside the teachers room waving at me the whole time I've been writing this blog. Today when we sat down to do "down by the banks" I looked around and the boys and girls had separated themselves off from each other. In my head I said "what is this a 6th grade dan---oh. right."

So that's where I am in my (dare I say it) Anna and the King life. That movie/book is banned so probably keep my mention of it on the DL is all I'm saying.

Apocalypse now.

Today the world looks different. I don't mean today as in the abstract version of the present era. I mean specifically today, March 30, 2010. My morning jog smelled like weed and was littered with beer bottles. The dog that shouldn't be there was, the dog that should be there, wasn't and everything was very loud. There were policemen everywhere and just before I noticed all the spiders on the sidewalk I saw a pheasant (like fox and the hound, oldey time movie pheasant) dead in some rosebushes.

And all this BEFORE the bizarre sandstorm settled into Provo.

If I didn't know better I'd say the whole day was actually a dream.
that's all.

P.S. Funding for Thailand miraculously (and I do mean MIRACULOUSLY) came through for me. I'm now the fifth most popular project on kickstarter---hoo-ha.

Wilkommen

Welcome to my new blog, the pessimist in me would say that it will likely fall into as dormant and inactive a state as the old blog did EXCEPT THAT, this will likely be the site of my video blog coming to you from my summer in Siam (assuming I get there).

You can help me get there by clicking here.

Seriously check it out and tell your friends!