Don't Ostracize Me.

Let me explain. The following, was a result of many elements that all added up to create the perfect storm for me. The elements: 1)the proven fact that I'd been repeated to everyone with ears all day---ostriches can kill lions. 2) walking on to this ostrich farm and seeing the bums of the out-of-commission ostriches worm bare of feathers (no doubt from all of the fat tourists sliding around on their backs), 3) watching the little Thai men wrangle the ostriches with their more than sketchy methodology (lets not talk about the blood), AND last but not least--4) the fact that I never fall down. Even in my stumbling I have cat like reflexes and even when I first learned to ice skate, I never remember slipping. That being the case, I'm not really practiced at catching myself. With those grains of salt, watch the following (I recommend it without sound) :

Humiliations galore.

I grabbed the birds wings, but held loosely because I didn't want to crush its feathers and didn't lock my legs around the front of him because the other one was heaving and I didn't want to constrict this one's breathing so I essentially didn't even try to hold on. (Did you see what I did there? Now I'm the town martyr rather than the court jester. check.) Also, the funniest part of the whole video is the ostrich's face as it runs away. Feel free to go back for round two.

It's days later and I'm still in pain from that fall, but, in order that I can still use that old adage about getting back up the ostrich when you've fallen off (or whatever that saying is), I did re-mount.

A new item on my bucket list is to ride every ridable animal there is (yes.) Ostriches: check! Also, note to self: the chinstrap look? not flattering.