Don't Ostracize Me.

Let me explain. The following, was a result of many elements that all added up to create the perfect storm for me. The elements: 1)the proven fact that I'd been repeated to everyone with ears all day---ostriches can kill lions. 2) walking on to this ostrich farm and seeing the bums of the out-of-commission ostriches worm bare of feathers (no doubt from all of the fat tourists sliding around on their backs), 3) watching the little Thai men wrangle the ostriches with their more than sketchy methodology (lets not talk about the blood), AND last but not least--4) the fact that I never fall down. Even in my stumbling I have cat like reflexes and even when I first learned to ice skate, I never remember slipping. That being the case, I'm not really practiced at catching myself. With those grains of salt, watch the following (I recommend it without sound) :

Humiliations galore.

I grabbed the birds wings, but held loosely because I didn't want to crush its feathers and didn't lock my legs around the front of him because the other one was heaving and I didn't want to constrict this one's breathing so I essentially didn't even try to hold on. (Did you see what I did there? Now I'm the town martyr rather than the court jester. check.) Also, the funniest part of the whole video is the ostrich's face as it runs away. Feel free to go back for round two.

It's days later and I'm still in pain from that fall, but, in order that I can still use that old adage about getting back up the ostrich when you've fallen off (or whatever that saying is), I did re-mount.

A new item on my bucket list is to ride every ridable animal there is (yes.) Ostriches: check! Also, note to self: the chinstrap look? not flattering.

Ricardo, a friend.

So there are suddenly cockroaches in my life. Actually I think it's just one. The roach I see always looks the same and I've seen more than one at a time so, for intensive purposes---it's just one. I named him Ricardo. La cucaracha folks, la cucaracha.

Word of advice, never google "do cockroaches bite?" When I was thinking about what I found there a business card dropped on my arm and I almost had a heart attack. My dad would be so proud of that business card for picking such a good moment to scare me. It's all about the set-up.

Below is a picture of a spider we found in the hills. The leaves aren't good to look at for scale because they're unconventionally enormous as well. It was all neon colors and it looked like a toy spider. I think it would fill up your palm if you had it in your hand.

you are cool.

I just got an email, subject line: you are cool. I opened it (because who wouldn't) and attached was a link to this picture. I post it because 1) it is throwback Thursday and 2) it is a visual representation of the people in whose presence I want to spiritually spend my time.

that is all.

Trekking with the Hill Tribes

Happy Fourth of July! One of these summers, I’ll be back in America to celebrate it, it’s one of my top three favorite holidays. This Fourth was probably my most uniquely spent (though there were no parades or hot air balloons involved. We spent Saturday and Sunday trekking with the hill tribes. I was under the impression that it was a pretty mellow hike so I wore flip-flops and it turned out to be 10 miles of practically straight uphill---no switchbacks. It was madness, but really refreshing. It was the kind of thing where you just feel really good afterward.

We started with elephant riding and one of the elephants that trekked with us had recently given birth so the baby came along too. Everyone’s first reaction is “it’s SOO small!” but be honest folks, that baby elephant is bigger than the biggest dog you have ever seen.

I just seriously could not get over how cute this baby was. The video is total crumb, but the baby! I had a moment with a guy from Yorkshire because he was saying he wanted to---take the baby home with you! I know! (I finished his sentence, we had a moment). We went on from there to hike around through the hills. Our guide’s name was ‘Rambo’ because he helped the crew of the newest Rambo movie schlep camera equipment around when they were filming in that very jungle! He was short but solid.

What I’m saying is I’m practically best friends with Sylvester Stallone by association at this point. Yea, we’re besties---about time. The hike was long and hard and I generally ended up the back of the fast group or the front of the slow group (oh how I hate mediocrity), but suddenly in the early evening we rounded a corner and came upon these beautiful rice patties. They were just like you think southeast asia is going to be and I couldn’t get over them. (literally hiking over them was wet and muddy and nearly took me out).

We camped just beyond there at a waterfall where we spent the evening singing (someone brought a guitar) around the fire. There is nothing better than that. I swear all I need for my life is a camp fire, a guitar, and people to love it with me.

This was definitely one of the best weekends we’ve spent here. The guides made us each little leaf hats that turned out to be like wearing a green house on your head and made us all pour with sweat and we finished off the fourth with bamboo rafting (where 4 of our number got charged by that mama elephant when the baby scrambled onto their raft for some air) and eventually ice cream at Swenson’s where we caught a glimpse of the fireworks from the only 4^th of July part in the city. Life doesn’t get better than that.

O Brother, Where Art Thou?

By way of further introduction to my life here, this is the face that I see every morning when I leave for my morning run. I can never remember his Thai name, so I call him ‘Brother’----mostly so I can say “hey brother”---props to you if you get the reference. He’s the one that understands me here in this house of otherwise little communication. Also, even though he isn’t the cleanest dog of my acquaintance, he is a much needed source of affection.

The other dog here, I named Nicodemus He used to be extremely skittish (all dogs here are), but today he almost followed me into the house and when I turned to scratch his ears he didn’t even pull away. There are TONS of dogs in Thailand and they bark like savage guard dogs, and yet---you have but to look them in the eyes and they run away. Lots of the dogs follow me on my run in the morning, but they eventually turn around and go home. Thais really like puppies (you always find them for sale in the markets), but they don’t much like the adults so a lot of them will raise them and then just let them go.

Note: this post dedicated to Michaela Maurine Proctor; dog lover extraordinaire.

Angkor Wat

When the red shirts broke out in violent and destructive protests, we had to pack our bags and prepare to leave if it became necessary, my number one regret about leaving Thailand was that I’d miss the chance to go to Angkor Wat. I read about it in the National Geographic when I was 8 and I’ve wanted to visit ever since. It’s the largest religious complex in the world and dates back to 1300 (which is actually really young when you’re used to the dates of the Middle East and the wonders of the ancient world). We arrived as the sun was setting and it was truly a beautiful sight. The sun was setting over Angkor Wat as lightning was striking behind the clouds and then a rainbow appeared in the far sky out of nowhere and this white horse was grazing just out in front of the temple like it belonged there. It looked like one of those ridiculous paintings in folk art stores that you don’t buy because it’s too busy to be real. That or a Lisa Frank folder.

We spent two days touring the various temples in the Angkor complex. Angkor Wat is the main one, and the image that kind of represents the whole complex, but it’s so big you actually have to take a bus or a tuk tuk (little motorcycle taxi) to be able to see all (or even a little) of what it has to offer. A guy in our group stayed home from seeing Angkor Wat to watch S. Korea play Greece in the world cup. *RIDICULOUS* He missed out. Also, I’m pretty sure S. Korea lost that game anyway.

Cambodian dancers just hanging out on the temple ruins. One of the Wats on the Angkor complex is covered in strangler figs (location where they filmed Lara Croft: Tomb Raider) These things were massive and looking at them, I felt a General Conference talk metaphor coming on. All told Cambodia boasts much more interesting foliage than we’ve seen so far in Thailand. In fact, looking at some of it I thought “Oh Kampuchea (their word for their own country), almost thou persuadest me to be a horticulturalist.”

Also, we were given much more time than the heat would permit us to stay interested at each location, so I was sitting at the base of one of the bigger stranglers just thinking and this European man walked by and said “Ah! You must be Vishnu.” That’s a new one. I’ve been called many things, but never the supreme form of Hindu deity before. This complex used to be Hindu, but then they made it Buddhist. Part of the reason Cambodian/Thai relations are so bad is because the Thais sacked the Angkor civilization in 1431. Get over it.--too soon?

Ode To My Fish Friends

Though I am MUCH further from the sea here than I am in my native residence of Northern Virginia, I eat a lot more seafood here (still unsure whether that should worry me). I come down the stairs to the kitchen and if the protein of the day is fish than I am stare down my meal face to face because we eat these little guys and they stare up at us saying "I LOOKED EXACTLY LIKE THIS IN LIFE!" At first it frightened me, but then they slowly began to become my friends because who's to say they don't speak English when I need someone to talk to? This morning's deep fried demon, however, would NOT have been my friend. Just saying.